poor girl's limo

(eta: bumping this to the top as a note that my journal is not dead, just updated rather infrequently in a combo of locked and unlocked posts.)

I am a girl. I have exactly eleven hours and thirty minutes to go.

I am nineteen generic age, a student, and something of a screw-up (you can use the euphemism "delightfully quirky"). I wear striped stockings, and the last time I wore the heart stockings an elderly man yelled to me,"Just stay the way you are Shirley Temple nobody'll do shit to you it'll all be cool!" before he walked off into a crowd.

I am actually a repository of odd stories, extreme situations, and other odds and ends. I make messes, mangle the English language, and get lost a lot. Obligatories over.

"You have principles? Well shit, everyday has a surprise in it :)"

My fucking friends I swear to god sometimes they are out to get me.

Sometimes I retreat to this happy place where people don't hit on me so much, and even when they do they don't stop talking to me soon after they figure out I won't put out.

(aka I'm on tequila again, but at least this time there were no drag queens around).

The meth dog simply will not permit anyone to sleep in past ten o'clock when they could be playing with her.

So apparently tequila makes me cuddle drag queens.

Oh my god there is vomit everywhere I am never drinking tequila again.

Me: It’s angler fish Anomily!
Me: Bite me and dissolve into your testes!
Boyfriend: Um, ok, I guess. Lol
Me: Shut up, I’m laughing my ass off.

Never say I don’t know how to entertain myself in the middle of a drunken depression.

Today I realized that if a man has a parrot on his shoulder then I'll put up with him hitting on me and follow him to the ends of the earth, even if he's a crackhead wandering around the Strip in a pirate costume.

"Walk, Squally! Walk!" and then wallets instantly open up.

The best way to break into a wash is on a bike.



I nearly took a piss in this tunnel that smelled like rotting fecal matter until I decided that I wasn't that disgusting. Yet.

Men act really strange after you jump in a pool topless for $20.

Other organization's volunteer: There are a lot of wars in Central America in general.
Kid #1: Is it because they're Hispanic?
Other organization's volunteer: No.
Kid #2: Is it because they can't keep drama to themselves?